Before Al Gore invented the internet as a way for ugly people to have sex people used to go to things called “pubs”. The general theory of pubs was that people were required to drink enough alcohol so that they would lower their standards to enough of a level (and someone of the opposite sex would do the same) to agree to coatis.
Due to most people having the internet now almost all pubs in the UK are now Chinese or Indian restaurants, but some pubs do still soldier on, one of which is the UK’s last temperance bar. What is a temperance bar you ask? It is something so horrifying you may never recover what it is.
Despite being a genius, and voice of a generation, I had not actually heard of a temperance bar until today. It was whilst researching for a blog about Dandelion and Burdock. In case of any ambiguity Dandelion and Burdock is a soft drink, not the campest name ever for two detectives.
Dandelion and Burdock is a sarsaparilla type soft drink, made from? You guessed it dandelion and burdock, but there is only one pub left in the UK that uses the original recipe and that is Fitzpatrick’s Temperance bar in some shit northern town.
The concept of a Temperance bar is like a normal bar, but they don’t serve any alcohol because they think it will anger the man in the sky.
Classic drinks include Dandelion and Burdock, Cream Soda, Ginger Beer, Ginger Ale, and remember a cheeky Vimto? Actual Vimto was invented specifically for temperance bars.
Once upon a time when the north of England was very Methodist influenced they were everywhere, thankfully like pandas they are now almost extinct.
Funnily enough, they have a similar concept in Iran, good job Northern England.